No stitches, just platelets and will power
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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