Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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