And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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