you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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