So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
