my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize