Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
