I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
