You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
