she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
