We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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