I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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