brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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