It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize