Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and she was petting her beer can
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
