guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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