He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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