I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
