i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There r osticjed everywhere
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
