Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize