Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
