So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
