just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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