No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
