every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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