either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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