Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize