My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
