I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
