I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize