NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
