My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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