I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
