i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize