i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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