and you said cock pushups were impossible
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
