So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
