Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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