i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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