I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
