Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize