I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
