therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
