girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
