Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
