I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
do nipples grow back?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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