Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
