so explain again why im purple
no
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
