end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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