You're a womanizer and a bitch.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
