We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
