Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
