Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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