What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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