i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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