I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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