He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
