now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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