Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
