Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
