Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
