guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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