I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
