We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
