It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
