Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
