And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
